Bad Quotes and Humor

• The Mark 13's storage tubes carry an additional chemical weapon, a cell destroying toxin: B-Silabenmortade, available to you at no extra charge. -Hardware, the movie
• My forgettery is better than my remembery... I think.
• Legislated morality is an oxymoron.
• WASHINGTON -- The hard-liners who held Mikhail Gorbachev captive at his vacation home for three days seized the Soviet president's briefcase containing the codes needed to activate the nation's nuclear arsenal, The Washington Post says. The Post also said Gorbachev videotaped his last will and testament.

• ULTRIX V4.2 (Rev. 96) System #1: Thu Sep  5 03:21:23 EDT 1991
  UWS V4.2 (Rev. 272)
  
  
     better !pout !cry
     better watchout
     lpr why
     santa claus <north pole >town
  
     cat /etc/passwd >list
     ncheck list
     ncheck list
     cat list | grep naughty >nogiftlist
     cat list | grep nice >giftlist
     santa claus <north pole > town
  
     who | grep sleeping
     who | grep awake
     who | grep bad || good
     for (goodness sake) {
        be good
     }
  

• Did you know that there are 71.9 acres of nipple tissue in the U.S.?
• You know you've been hacking too long when...: The set-up line for a genre of one-liners told by hackers about themselves. These include the following:
  • not only do you check your e-mail more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
  • your {SO} kisses you on the neck and the first thing you think is "Uh, oh, {priority interrupt}.".
  • you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing it in octal.
  • your computers have a higher street value than your car.
  • `round numbers' are powers of 2, not 10.
  • you've woken up more than once to recall of a dream in some programming language.
  • you realize you've never seen half of your best friends. All but one of these have been reliably reported as hacker traits (some of them quite often). Even hackers may have trouble spotting the ringer.